It was wonderful to meet Italian filmmaker Sara Pozzoli and her husband Anthony just before the New Year, on a bright, beautiful sunny day in far west Cornwall.
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Sara had seen my exhibition in the Summer and asked if I'd like to feature in a film she's making about Penzance and the surrounding area, for Italian National TV. I would have a 5 mins or so slot with other local artists, writers, bakers and more ...

My initial response, with my usual fears and natural urge to hide, was 'arrgg No', mixed with a huge sense of gratitude that Sara had thought of me when planning her film...and also an excited curiosity! I had also been nervous about the Archie Brown's exhibition, (especially the private view!) but it did really well, I sold many pieces and received great feedback...so it's amazing how things can unfold when we don't allow fears and older patterns to dictate what we do... when, deeply we know it's right for us.

My new art business journey has been a series of challenges, new learnings, wonderful meetings, late night thinking, planning and brainstorming new ideas/possibilities ...and also a being open to the beautiful, unexpected, surprising and joyous unfoldings!
...and I could never have planned or brainstormed for this one :-)

Just a few stills of the morning...x

Please click the Twitter post below to see my latest newsletter  - and maybe ...subscribe for a discount :)

Thank you thank you immeasurably Leonard Cohen, I hardly know where to begin, for the light and profound grace, the poetry and music ... the humour too... for the spaces and tones and nuances between the light and dark, their beauty, shapes, playfulness, seriousness, literariness, colour, sparks and excitingly warm possibilities...the spaces I love...  and for helping me for almost 30 years and however many more...

 You are so very present always

To more gentleness and poetry in the world. 

Gentle this soul

'Ahh the crickets are singing
The Vesper bells ringing
​The cat's curled asleep in his chair...

...

She said, "I'll be with you
My shawl wrapped around you
My hand on your head when you go"
And the night comes on
And it's very calm...'


Goodnight Leonard Cohen x
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​Leonard Cohen's timeless wisdom on democracy and its redemptions - article by Maria Popova




And...
Pico Iyer on What Leonard Cohen Teaches Us about Presence and the Art of Stillness​

...And on poetry, designing a building...a country and Dylan's 'fading into the parade'. Oh, I love this 10min interview - such beautiful, authentic, aware, wonderful & creative responses...the questions appear to try to label him or box him in, but they stand no chance ...

​'The Guests' with photos by Henri Cartier Bresson...so beautiful
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Also... another wonderful Leonard interview x

Such a little thing for some but a big thing for me and a sign to myself that I'm taking developing my business seriously ...

At last I have purchased my own domain name to have a more professional website

www.rowenascotney.com 

(glad it was still available :-))

For over two years I've tiptoed around doing this  - a mixture of uncertainty, lacking confidence, not fully committing...but now I am! 
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A big Thank you to all who have signed up!! It helped spur me on with navigating Mailchimp and getting started... :-) 

Future monthly newsletters will hopefully have exclusive content, felting videos (yes, i am determined to master the time-lapse video!) and freebies now and then....

..and I'd love to hear from you about anything you might like to know about felting, exhibitions.....the creative process... and I'd love to learn from you and any other fellow felters :-) 

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Just a short post about the joys of the little distractions that can help you to get back on track with tasks that are less than enjoyable!

I discovered this simple doodle maker a while ago http://draw.to and have found that if I'm working on an issue that I struggle with, I can take a 3-5 min break, create a splash of colour - either abstract patterns or something more representational (!) and feel re-charged!

The 'Spider and bird with the cobweb sky' was doodled in the midst of very dull workings out for tax and HMRC purposes...I then managed to get back to the number crunching and finished the arduous task :-) Much happier with the creative intermission!!
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It might be interesting/revealing to unravel the symbolism here too! 

I find focusing on something else, even such a little intuitive doodle can help so much with 'freeing and relaxing' which then enables far better working and understanding of the original task. As a teacher I'd always encourage a little doodle-time for the students who would definitely benefit, however, sadly, this isn't encouraged and I'm sure would be frowned upon by Ofsted/other teachers when written into a formal lesson plan... hmmm...i never thought to add it when I was observed,.. I should have!
...it works and is wonderful.

A beautiful sunny Saturday for ​visiting artists' Open Studios - with my son and two borrowed, joyous, energetic dogs! and had a funny, mixed day... with wonderful, inspiring art...

I've been going to the Open Studios for quite a few years, all around Cornwall, and have always loved the diversity of the artists and their work, seeing their processes, working spaces, chatting sometimes -  it's all a privilege and fascinating... and dreaming of maybe taking part one year. Whilst walking around, I was struck again at how such a deep and painful lack of confidence has led me to disregard so much that I've done over the years - including painting, drawing, ceramics, writing, qualifications, teaching, successes...(socialising and speaking were incredibly hard too)... and to feel such a sense of awe for others.

Over the last two years I've started to show some of my feltings, which was  terrifying at first– but alongside other leaps in new, personal understanding, little by little it became easier and the self-admonishment of ‘daring to speak’/having a voice at all has become less and less. At (college) work last week, I thought about how I often dismiss what I do when I say to others, ‘Oh it’s nothing really, just some feltings, some ideas...’, when people ask and especially around ‘real’ artists (as I’ve always thought them, and they are, of course!).

Why do I (still) do this? I am belittling something I care deeply about – my work that is starting to develop and do so well, giving pleasure to others, too, is not 'nothing, really'. My joy is also in the process and in expressing myself with poetry that I’ve always loved and how this has been a continued light for me through some dark times. It needs nurturing, encouragement, belief, respect, kindness and continued curiosity towards new avenues and openings to let it flow and unfold – always a celebration! - and funnily it happens in a space where 'I', the 'conditioned' Rowena am not ... liberating! :-). I feel small and sad when I speak negatively about it, it's like a betrayal, and a shifting of the critical voices from myself to my work, a side-swipe back to me, as ultimately the work just 'is' and happy in itself!  I decided last week that I would not speak negatively about it anymore, but I found today, just days later, that the old instant response jumped in again when an artist was complimentary towards my work.

I have so many ideas to explore and these curl away, grey, unhappy, when I put them down. I felt so sad this afternoon, listening to myself when speaking dismissively...but am aware and so no more! 

And the beautiful dogs...after a few studios and pulling back and fluster - poor Plum and Milo! - they had lots of hugs, tickles and pinecones :-) and then they ran free and happy across the open fields, no constraint, just endless bounding and discovering! Wonderful teachers!

I was wondering whether this resonates with you at all and also, perhaps, how you've learned to overcome it, or work alongside it?...maybe using these feelings and transforming them into a new strength in your work, art, career... life! Please do leave any comments :-) 

I also thought about a recent Radio 4 series and this (really entertaining) episode in particular - Oliver Burkeman on feeling a fraud and how this can constrict you - amongst other things!

​... I also thought about 'The Opening of the Field' - a collection of poetry by Robert Duncan ...and the first poem:


Often I Am Permitted to Return to a Meadow

as if it were a scene made-up by the mind,   
that is not mine, but is a made place,

that is mine, it is so near to the heart,   
an eternal pasture folded in all thought   
so that there is a hall therein

that is a made place, created by light   
wherefrom the shadows that are forms fall.

Wherefrom fall all architectures I am
I say are likenesses of the First Beloved   
whose flowers are flames lit to the Lady.

She it is Queen Under The Hill
whose hosts are a disturbance of words within words   
that is a field folded.

It is only a dream of the grass blowing   
east against the source of the sun
in an hour before the sun’s going down

whose secret we see in a children’s game   
of ring a round of roses told.

Often I am permitted to return to a meadow   
as if it were a given property of the mind   
that certain bounds hold against chaos,

that is a place of first permission,   
everlasting omen of what is.


Robert Duncan, “Often I Am Permitted to Return to a Meadow” from The Opening of the Field. Copyright © 1960 by Robert Duncan. 
Source: Selected Poems (New Directions Publishing Corporation, 1993)

I'm so happy to have been sent some wool from my wonderful friend Allyson in New Zealand, whose friend Cilla lives in Waihi Gorge, a beautiful and scenic area by the river and a waterfall ...it sounds idyllic…and perfect for her sheep too!

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Cilla explained a little about the breed - 'Arapawa wool comes from sheep that originated from Arapawa Island in Marlborough Sounds since 130 years ago. Lean, light-boned, alert, bright eyes; they are active sheep and have survived hostile terrain and situations. They are resistant to lots of illnesses such as fly strike and are very good mothers naturally.

You will notice the different texture of the wool as you felt it – the brown is very soft and easy to felt, the grey wool has an elasticity and stretch in it that is completely different from the brown wool.’
 
Thank you so much Allyson and Cilla - and Fernando, Lola and Luna! What beautiful sheep and I can't wait to get felting :-) xxxxx

I really should be doing some felting on my day off work but suddenly remembered a Leonard Cohen interview I saw on YouTube over a year ago... so will listen, look and felt too :-) Also still trying to become a little more savvy with linking via Twitter/FB and website...

There's a moment in Part 1, 2 or 3 where he sees a squirrel in a tree through the window behind the interviewer. The memory of that moment stayed with me from when I first watched :-) 

Throughout March I have a few pieces in a small exhibition at Morvah Schoolhouse - a beautiful gallery surrounded by awe-inspiring coastal walks and wildlife. I volunteer at the gallery, helping with social media and exhibitions ...and in the cafe at weekends. Each month there is a new featured artist 'On the Wall' downstairs in the cafe - amongst wonderful and unique art and craft items for sale.

....The Sparrow has now SOLD :-)

Currently in The Blue Bramble Gallery, St Ives
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 Inspired by the poem from R.S.Thomas

The Cat and the Sea​
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It is a matter of a black cat 
On a bare cliff top in March 
Whose eyes anticipate 
The gorse petals; 

The formal equation of 
A domestic purr 
With the cold interiors 
Of the sea's mirror.

Even though I thought of this poem at the time, the felting was of a Summer scene (and featured my Silver cat) and so i made a note, that I need to return in March and try to capture the formal equation :-) ... featuring Archy, a beloved black cat ...